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Sassea Sails

SAILING, METAPHORS, ADVENTURE,

Regretful Remembrance of Viet Nam

Regretfully, my involvement and recollection of the year my older brother, Harry spent in Viet Nam was devoid of the man’s inhumanity to man. What I remember is once a month mom and I would bake chocolate chip cookies, pack them in a box littered with miniature marshmallows and send them to Harry. His letters reflected the appreciation of him and those in his command for the treat. Most of the cookies he jeered after his return home were ‘unbroken. “…and the marshmallows were like the icing on the cake.”

Recently while enjoying the company of a new friend, Linda S., we talked about our memories of View Nam. When I told her about using the marshmallows to cushion the chocolate chip cookies. She seemed amazed. “What a great idea,” she clambered. “Much better than using those styrofoam nuggets.”

In memory of Harry and all those he shared the cookies with I am baking several batches of cookies. One for Linda S., one for my sister, one for our younger brother, and one for Harry’s Vietnamese friend. I wish I had done more.

Pansexual

Apparently pansexual means a liking of everyone. If one is pansexual they are heterosexual, homosexual or bisexual. A pansexual person likes everyone regardless of their the sexuality of another person.

Researching the term pansexual brings up the idea of you say tomato (toma toe) versus tomata (toma ta). The term first came to light and seems to be popularized by celebrity quips. Miley Cyrus recently declared her pansexual preference.

Being pansexual does not require one engages in sexual activity. The implication is that one likes everyone. Sounds like a nonjudgmental approach. More research on the use of the term is suggested before one announces there choice of label. For example, if I am physically attracted to someone who turns out to be a homosexual female does that make me a lesbian.

If you have a comment or question on this newly popularized descriptor please let me know. Let us learn together.  You can reach me at sassythesailor@gmail.com

 

 

Sun never sets,,,

To say the sun never sets implies it is worldwide. Historically England had colonies around the world. Therefore it could be said “the sun never set on the British flag.

Wikipedia (September 24, 2017) states it this way:

          The sentiment expressed by these words first appeared in Christopher                                     North’s1829 work Noctes Ambrosianae. The actual words used by Christopher North were ‘His Majesty’s dominions, on which the sun never sets’ (as these words were written in 1829, the “Majesty” in question would have been King George IV).Sep 11, 2009

Geographically there are places in the world where the sun never sets. Norway, Sweden, Finland, Alaska, Iceland and Greenland experience 24 hours of sunlight for about half the year. For those not accustomed to daylight during the midnight hours it is a worthwhile experience. Rather than rise in the east and set in the west, the sun continues to move across the horizon. Definitely, it is the view that validates how the earth rotates around the sun. Or is it that the sun rotates around the earth?

 

Sincerity versus Integrity

Regretfully I did not document the source of an interesting concept; that is the difference between sincerity and integrity. Accordingly sincerity relates to intent whereas integrity relates to the action. For example, a man invites a woman out on a date. At the time of the asking he truly wants her to be by his side, to accompany him to said event. The event doesn’t matter in this situation. Rather we are focusing on the sincerity with which he invited her. This situation could be between two friends, a parent and a child, or even a teacher and a student.

The point is at the time of the invitation the intent was clear and desirable. Then, something happens and for whatever reason the person doing the inviting or the one agreeing to the date changes their mind. Perhaps something better comes along, perhaps the invitation was forgotten. Again, why one of the parties changes their mind is not important. What is important that one of the parties did not keep their word. Though sincere about asking, their mind changing reflects their integrity.

Regardless of how sincere one is when making a plan, the integrity is demonstrated in the follow through. Does this make sense? Does it help narrow down the description of someone? One can be sincere with less than desirable integrity. Or so stated the source which I failed to document…While I am sincere in the message perhaps my integrity with giving credit where credit is due is not so strong.

Comments? Questions? Let me know: sailorhiker@gmail.com

An Ah-ha …

Here is an idea whose time has come. It is regarding the challenge of two people deciding to share a residence. In this particular case we will describe the characters as neat freak and la-de-da. Specifically this article will discuss an idea of deciding who gets to take how much of a prized possession.

Neat freak adamantly controls the amount of space each person is allowed. The division of space is approximately a 60/40% split. La-de-da gets the extra space. When it comes to shoes, however, neat freak finds it difficult to understand why la-de-da has more than 20 pairs of shoes. As a result of three moves in two months La-De-Da is deciding which pairs to give up.

In the meantime a counter defense is needed.  When Neat Freak carries out the box of shoes words will puke out. These words might include, “You can’t take this many shoes?”, “Why do you need pink ones?” “One pair of shower shoes is all you need.”

Like I stated in the opening paragraph, the ah-ha moment had me drop one of the packing boxes. Then, hurriedly the laptop was put on the charger. This was followed with turning on the iPhone and connecting the personal hotspot in the ‘settings.’

So, here is the plan:  When Neat Freak makes a disparaging remark about the number of shoes, La-De-Da will whisper in an assertive, flirtatious tone with something like, ” Yes, there are a lot of shoes. Let’s limit the number to the same number of tools in your toolbox. Oh, yea, and about that bird you like on the kitchen table, we need to negotiate a better place. Like my dolls kept in the backroom, perhaps birdie can live in the man cave or outside on the deck or in the garden…..

Let me know what you think. 

Sassythesailor@gmail.com

 

 

 

 

 

 

Sailmeom.com

Found this website and believe it is worth sharing. Here is an excerpt that speaks to me. This is especially true after my soliloquy on Sea of Life Parts I and II which was posted a few minutes ago. How timely???

3) Know the difference between fear and anxiety.

After reading a really wonderful series of blog posts by a fellow sailor and therapist, I know that what I feel is actually anxiety.  Not panic-attack level, medication-necessary anxiety, just run-of-the-mill Jewish Grandma worry. Understanding more abouthow my brain works has been helpful. It hasn’t cured me,,,but perhaps reading up on how you feel can make a difference. By understanding what’s happening in your brain chemistry,You can let feelings pass through you and acknowledge them, and ultimately let them go in a moment of zen, or treat them professionally if necessary.

http://www.sailmeom.com/stories/2016/10/25/fear-anxiety-boats

On the Sea of Life, Part II

As stated in the Sea of Life Part I blog entry, each line I read in the poem below was questioned. My brain kept repeating, ‘what if’ until it reached such a crescendo that I had to literally get out of my easy chair and write about it to help quell the voices within. Each line in the poem as it was presented are in the left column. On the right is my response as I rationalize my behavior in order to make sense out of my choices.  At the least doing so became an interesting insight into my cynicism. . . Let me know your thoughts . . .

There is so much more to life than finding someone who will want you, or being sad over someone who doesn’t What if finding someone who will want you is fulfilling? Ever watch the gleam in the eyes of people in their 70s or 80s holding hands as they stroll along?

Sadness is a normal part of rejection in our bitter sweet life. What if one allows a limited amount of time to be sad while allowing time to be happy in each day. What if I quit being sad over my husband’s death? That would be the ultimate sadness….

There is a lot of wonderful time to be spent discovering yourself without hoping someone will fall in love with you along the way What if I have spent my life discovering myself without hoping someone will fall in love with me along the way, but what if my being is overwhelmed with the quest to taste love’s lasting pleasure?
And it doesn’t need to be painful or empty What if we need pain to feel relief?
You need to fill yourself up with love What if it gets tiring? What if a message from a friend adds to fulfillment?
Not anyone else What if others want to add love to your life?
Become a whole being on your own What if you are a whole being? What if being whole needs defining?
Go on adventures What if my adult life has been an adventure? Buying my own sailboat, teaching myself how to sail, sailing solo from Bermuda to Florida? These are not adventures,,,, surfing in Jeffreys Baai, trekking the Lares Valley
Fall asleep in the woods with friends What if I have slept in the woods with friends and along?
Wander around the city at night What if I spent more nights I can remember or count wandering the streets of New York City? It doesn’t get more citied than New York…
Sit in a coffee shop on your own What if I spent many a morning or mid day sitting in a coffee shop alone? What if I told you at age 21 I did so in the French Quarter? Just sipping a latte watching others come and go?
Write on bathroom stalls Yea, what if I told you I have written on walls around the world?
Leave notes in library books What if I have written and continue to leave notes in books I read, whether in the library or in a campground, marina book swap.
Dress up for yourself What if I took a pix of myself wearing my brand new size 27 stretch skinny jeans, that I proudly sasshaed around in, and didn’t need a complement to stick my chin up, and boobs out, cause I knew I looked good!
Give to others What if I continually donate time and money to others?
Smile a lot What if I smile most of the day? Even when I was at Linda’s I practiced the wonderful mantra she shared with me, “chin up, boobs out, smile, smile, smile.
Do all things with love What if I believe I do all things with love? I avoid judgement… I respond
Don’t romanticize life like you can’t survive without love What if romanticizing just comes into my brain? I can survive, I will survive, that is not an issue. What if I choose to survive with a mate with whom there is mutual love?
Live for yourself What if living for myself is the only way I can live? Indeed I firmly believe everyone does. Even Mother Theresa lived for herself; her way of living for herself meant helping the poor, indigant and ill.
Be happy on your own What if I can be happy on my own but the daunting ‘work’ to live on my own is eased with the loving companionship of a mate
It isn’t less beautiful, Promise What if beauty is in the eye of the beholder

 

On the Sea of Life, Part I

The next chapter in my life begins, like previous ones, with the end in mind; sort of. As Covey postulates one needs to know where they want to be in order to navigate an efficient course to arrive at their preferred destination. What if one doesn’t know where they want to end up? What if one wants to meander through life one day at a time?

Years ago as part of professional development I participated in a workshop that illustrated three different types of people. Those who asked themselves one of three key questions: What if? How?  Why? Instinctively, before the lecturer gave details about each of those categories, I knew I was a ‘what if’ person. Always when faced with a challenge I ask what if?

This has been especially true when faced with a challenge to do what others indicate is something I either don’t have the talent for or something that could be harmful. An example is my present situation. Despite the odds of making a life with someone who has twice denounced me I ask, “What if this time, we make it work out? A previous decision I made regarding the purchase of a boat in a foreign third world country was, “What if this boat truly becomes a classic?” More significantly was when I asked myself, “What if I make it around the world.”

In simpler situations I ask, “What if I buy a VW bug?” What if I buy another musical instrument?” Of course, the haunting question at age 69 is “What if the stock market crashes?” Regardless of the situation though my thoughts are more concerned with the What ifs, rather than the how to do something, or the why.

Which of these questions do you frequent? Test yourself during the next week and please feel free to share your responses. Throughout your day question what you are doing or what you are going to do. For example, let’s say you are going to exercise by walking two miles. Then, see which question comes to mind:

Why are you going for a walk?  How are you going to walk?  What if you walk _____?

Question Possible Response
What are you going to do to get healthy? Go for a two mile walk.
How are you going to get healthy Walk and lift weights.
What if you do something different than on previous occasions Maybe it will be more fun.

The point is to determine what questions you ask yourself. The reason I brought this topic up is because a friend sent me a poem about how I need to love and cherish myself rather than look to another for validation. Yet, as I read each line, my brain interjects, “yea, but what if…” To see how the poem transpires see the next post entitled, “Sea of Life Part II.”

 

Buying, Budgets, n Boats

As I juggle my budget with my passion for sailing and my desire to live with minimal comfort here are my current options.

KitundersailNorthAtlantic.jpgAthena 38, Fountaine Pajot   Asking Price $187,000

Boat name “KIT”     She has all the amenities. Very Clean and Efficiently organized. Rebuilt engines.  Currently in Daytona Beach

6217176_20170427164037819_1_XLARGE.jpg Tobago 35, Fountaine Pajot Asking Price $147,000  Ft. Pierce

Lil’ sister to Athena 38.   Boat name “Makai” (I think) She looks a bit dirty, concern about thickness of hull above engine room on transom.    Engines need a professional look. Currently on the hard in Ft. Pierce

main.jpgCSY 44 Walkover     Asking Price $69,900   Merritt Island

Boat name   “Darby Ann”      Will have a look at her tomorrow. She is a monohull. Picture looks sharp. Friends Dave and Sherry McCampbell began their round the world voyage on a CSY 44 and highly recommended it as a safe ocean passage boat. Not sure I will find living on a slant to my liking. The price is in a comfortable range for me.

Lastly, my previous love, SPRAY may be for sale. Negotiation with current owner at this time.

Keeping the cost at $100,000 would allow me to sleep well at night. Anything less will allow me to sleep well day or night. As long as my ship is seaworthy, , , that is the most important thing. I am just not ready for the rocking chair,,,,that will go into foster care or storage as my little buggy may as well. That’s not this blog discussion.

Please feel free to comment, advise, and definitely encourage me to continue my quest for equalizing  the buying, my budget and my next boat.

sassythesailor@gmail.com

 

 

 

 

 

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