Sassea Sails

This is a bit longer than my usual quips and quotes, but thought it poetic justifiable:

Yesterday, February 24, 2017,  started as a semi-normal day when you consider we had to leave the house at 7:30 am to get Ron to his scheduled out patient hernia surgery. As you know, he times everything to the precise second. Because I might have to drive him home we chose to take my brand new VW bug. Being smart enough to always let him drive to avoid having two drivers in the car,  I handed Ron the keys after he slid into the driver’s seat. “Remember to put your foot on the brake in order for the car to start,” I whispered.

The gear shift was in Park and his right foot was on the brake. Methodically he looked at the slot where the key goes in,  then proceeded to slide it in. The expression on his face told me something didn’t work. “Is your foot pressing on the brake all the way down?” I cautiously asked. No reply.

After two or three attempts at getting the key to turn the ignition on, I feared I may have gotten something on the key. Frustrated I said, “Hold on a sec, while I go back in the house to get the extra key!” As fast I could scrounge the house key to unlock the door I then ran upstairs grabbed the extra key, relocked the door to the house and jumped back in the car. All to no avail.

Ron tossed the keys on the dashboard. “Let’s just take the truck,” he exclaimed. Knowing there is no way I would drive his beast of a truck he continued, “If they ask if you are driving me home from the hospital you say YES.” In no time we were truckin’ off to the Naples Hospital.

The surgery went fine. While he was under anesthesia I called roadside assistance. They would send someone after 5 pm to be sure we were back home. At 6 pm I called road side assistance to make sure they were on their way. Lo and behold the Naples car fixers decided they didn’t want to come the 50 miles to Everglades City. So, the wise roadside people called a service in Miami, a mere 108 miles away. It was well after dark when I had drifted off to sleep in the middle of some weird shoot –em up movie we were watching, when the car guy shows up.

I am so disappointed I missed this show. Not the movie but rather the show in which Ron gets in the bug to show the mechanic that the key won’t allow the ignition to rotate to the on position. “Turn the wheel,” bellowed the astute mechanic. Word has it that Ron turned the steering wheel but an inch and walla, kajalla, the ignition ignited.

Ron apologized for our lack of creativity in solving the problem. The gracious mechanic smiled as he got in his tow truck for his return journey of 108 miles back across the Tamiami Trail.