Once a popular television show, I, like the contestants, enjoy keeping a silly secrets. My conversation might start with “Guess what?” Typically the response would be “I don’t know.” Then, I would blurt out something like I just ate two pints of ice cream. Or maybe, we’re going sailing tonight, after dark! These were harmless little ways to build excitement from some otherwise routine or trivial endeavor.

On the other extreme was a deep dark secret. I knew some people knew about it. Most people did not. After years of guilt, with its accompanying consternation, I garnered the gumption to come out of the closet. No, its not about my sexuality. I was in a different albeit a very dark closet.

Still, my issue continues to be a sensitive one. This, despite two generations leading to a more accepting attitude. Sensitive secrets though is not the intent of this blog entry.

Today’s secret is one that I harbor for fear of jinxing an opportunity. I applied for a job. It is the type of job most people would never even consider.

For me, it is the chance of a lifetime. From my vantage point I should get it. I have the skills, the motivation and the resolve. What I am not sure of, is, if I have the emotional stamina to handle a possible rejection. Unless you are on the hiring committee, as a prospective hiree you never know everything the hiring agents are looking for.

Sure, there is a written list of criteria. But, all organizations have an unwritten agenda as well.. Maybe it is the feeling an interviewer gets from meeting face to face with a prospect. Or, maybe there is already a candidate preferred. Who knows?

What I know is, as with the myriad of positions I have applied for in my life, I completed the application and presented myself well during the interview. I even sent a hand written note of thanks to the interviewer. Now, I am patiently waiting for the acceptance letter.

In many of my formal and informal applications for a position, I plan for the worst. I am optimistic in this current situation. Still, one has to consider that the employer may have a preference for someone else. I don’t have a worst case plan. At 72 and a half years old, I have developed an attitude of whatever will be, will be.

I’m not stressing over the outcome. I am, however, incredibly excited about the prospect of being selected for this position. You ask, “What is the position?” Well, by this time, you either know or you don’t know.

For those of you who don’t know, please accept that it is just one of those silly secrets I enjoy playing with. It is a good secret. I just don’t want to spill the beans until I know either way. Trust me, as soon as I know you will either hear a blast of “YESSSS” or a sigh asking the universe, “OK, world, now what do I do?”

So, stay tuned. I’m told that I will hear shortly with an update by February 1st.

Hmmm, maybe this pix is a hint,,,,shh don’t tell.